how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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