You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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