if you like me you must not know who I am
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
