Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
