Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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