come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
