How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
