we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Even my vagina gasped.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
