4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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