wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
