why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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