Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
