after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
