every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize