never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize