I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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