After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
