I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
