ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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