I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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