also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
