ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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