What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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