John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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