I need help removing her.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
