Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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