this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
