Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so let's talk penis.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
