Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
