That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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