and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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