I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
