im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize