we have pet lesbian snakes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
