Kiss
Puke
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
