I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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