at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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