Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
