The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize