i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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