I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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