The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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