its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
