I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
