that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
