So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
