Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
