New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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