i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
