I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
