i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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