Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
