so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
