I swear she didn't look like that last week.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is Oprah even human
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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