So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize