Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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