Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
