I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
