HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Michael Bay diarrhea
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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