Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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