It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize