Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize