She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
