I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize