someone get that fucking seahorse.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
