i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
