I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
