Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
