fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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