I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
